all hail the flying spaghetti monster

another theory of intelligent design

The Flying Spaghetti Monster... built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact... he infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old... But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

(snip)

Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t... global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s... there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

you gotta love it.